भविष्य यस्तो होस्।

म लेख्दै छु भविष्य, मेरो देशको
श्रृंगारदैछु सपना, यहांका हजारौ भेषको,
तर आज म सामान्य केटी भएर होइन,
टीशर्ट र जीन्स लाएर होइन,
आंखामा गाजल र अनुहारमा क्रिम दलेर होइन,
म आज लाउनेछु,
मेरो विधवा आमाले लाउने सेतो साडी,
फुटाउनेछु मेरा हातका हरिया चुरा,
र श्रृंगारनेका छु मेरा लागि, मेरा देशका लागि सपना।



म जन्माउंदै छु आज मेरो भोलि,
तर मखमली तन्ना भएका ओछ्यानमा होइन,
डाक्टर र नर्स भएका अस्पतालमा होइन,
म आज जन्माउनेछु,
कसैको दरिद्रता भरेको आवाज सुनेर,
बिमारीले छट्पटिइका शरीर, औषधी नपाइ बग्दै गरेका आंसु,
हो तिनै पीडा भरिएका आंसुका थोपा पुछेर,
सुन्दरताले भरिएकी सानीमाया, आज ठमेलकी जुलिया भइछे अरे!,
हो त्यही जुलियाका रात्री व्यथा सुनेर,
कतार गएको श्यामेको हिजो लास आयो रे,
हो त्यही श्यामेको आमाको मनका वेदना बुझेर,
म आज जन्माइदिनेछु, मेरो भोलि।
मेरो देशको लाखौं हात, जुन टायर बाल्न व्यस्त भए,
तिनका भोलि लेख्दैछु,
मेरी छिमेकी जसको अनुहारमा एसिड फालिएछ,
तिनको भोलि सोच्दैछु,
सुदुर पश्चिममा झाडापखाला ले कैयौं मरे,
तिनका सपना पनि देख्दैछु,
मेरी नेपाल आमा, जसका राजतन्त्र प्रजातन्त्र गन्तन्त्र जस्ता समयसमयमा सन्तान जन्मिए,
तर आज पनि तिनी रगत र आंसुमा डुबिरहिछन्,
उनको पनि भविष्य कोर्दै छु।


"भविष्य कस्तो होस्? भविष्य कस्तो होस्?",
पोलिरहयो मलाई, वर्तमान हेरेर म के कल्पना गरुं,
तर हेरें फेरि अनुहार मेरि आमाको अनि सोचें।


भविष्य यस्तो होस्,
जंहा हरेक बिहान सगरमाथा चुम्दै, सुर्यका सुनौला किरणले राष्ट्रियताको संदेश ल्याओस्,
जात धर्म होइन, मानवताको स्पर्श ल्याओस्,
मेची देखी महाकाली जहां भएपनि, एउटै भाव ल्याओस,।


भविष्य यस्तो होस्,
पदको लागि होइन, विकास लागि आवाज उठुन,
सम्स्या मात्र होइन, समाधानका आवाज उठुन,
प्रदेशका लागि होइन, राष्ट्रका आवाज उठुन।


भविष्य यस्तो होस्,
मृत्यु मात्र होइन, जीवनका खबर सुनियोस,
अधिकार मात्र होइन, कर्त्ब्य का बोली बोलियोस,
सरकार मात्र होइन, सरोकार का कुरा गरियोस।


भविष्य यस्तो होस्,
समानता होइन, सर्वमान का कुरा गरियोस,
बदनामी मात्र होइन, धन्यवाद का कुरा गरियोस,
बिगार मात्र होइन, सम्मान का कुरा गरियोस,
डर मात्र होइन, आत्मविश्वास का कुरा गरियोस।



सपनामा मात्र होइन, बिपनामा पनि देखियोस,
संविधानमा मात्र होइन, आमका मनमा पनि लेखियोस,
जंहा हाम्रा लाई होइन, राम्रालाई मानियोस,
मेरो देशको भविष्य यस्तो होस्।

Was Buddha Really Born in Nepal?

We all must have read about the boy who was born at Kapilavastu currently located in the Lumbini zone of Nepal. He was born as the son of king Suddhona and queen Mayadevi. He was named as Siddhartha and later he left his royal life and became the peace messenger for the world, who is also known as the light of Asia. He is the one who taught the world the meaning and path of peace, and still we can see people are following his path of peace. Buddha and peace are synonymous with each other. When a talk about peace starts then it always ends with Buddha's philosophy and vice-versa.

Some years ago most of us must have participated in the actions where we were trying to make believe the world that Buddha was born in Nepal. Different steps were followed, some of us carried banners, Facebook status were written to support it, Facebook pages were also created where we shared different proofs which showed that Buddha was born in Nepal. We did as much as we can from our personal side and our government too supported it. We can still find that the currency of 100 has written on it "Buddha was born in Nepal." We did as as much as we can through our words. Neither then nor now we are concerned with why was Buddha born? 

We are just interested to feel proud of his birth place not for his birth purpose. I think Buddha never taught us to be proud for the accident that he was born here. If we are really proud of him then it must have been shown through our actions, we could have started to prove his birth purpose. But who seems to be interested for that? He taught to maintain peace at any cost but we specially the people of Nepal are ready to fight at any cause either it really matters or not. We can fight that's our identity these days. And we still expect that world will keep believing "Buddha was born in Nepal."

Fights and protests in every country is common. But the problem with us is we are ready to fight, either it is with purpose or it is purposeless. We don't only protest, we are ready to be inhuman too. We just need any issue to start a fight or protest. Watch is moving, years are increasing, seasons are passing even our lifestyle have changed but since thirty we are still there. We are fighting within us. The topics are changed but the motto is same. Sometimes it starts with the motto "Backward and forward", later it starts with the motto "Pahadi and Madhesi", at times with the motto "Hindu and Muslim" and so on. Let's give a bit of our life to analyze the newspapers since 15 years. There is not even a single week where we won't find the news, some sort of Nepali killed Nepali. And we are expecting that world will keep believing "Buddha was born in Nepal?"

It's getting more harder to even have a look at daily newspapers of Nepal. 2 killed, 3 shot, 5 kidnapped, 100 hospitalized and the rest bombed.  Headlines always covering some fight or dead bodies and Madan Puraskar is distributed covers just a corner of some inner pages. Since the morning to evening, the Facebook, twitter everywhere I just find tear gas exploded, Nepal police and general citizen fighting somewhere. A child was killed, a female was shot, the old man could not escape and some polices too killed. And how can I expect that the world keeps believing that "Buddha was born in Nepal?"

There are two ways to prove something, one is you prove with your words and your logical reasons that supports it and the second one is you try it through your actions. Both are effective in their own ways. With our words we can prove our statements faster than the later one whereas when we start it with actions it is pretty much sure that it will take time but it is always long lasting. That's  why it is said that "Action speaks more louder than words." Can we start realizing as soon as possible that what our action speaks. 

The world won't understand that either you are a part of government or not. Even they won't ask you that either you participated in the protest or not. They won't be even interested to know that either you carried the flag or the gun. If it continues the same way, then lets start to prepare our answers from today. Because none of our actions support that "Buddha was born in Nepal." In the near future the world will have a single question for all of us "Was Buddha really born in Nepal?"

I am still living those dreams

She told me "you won't understand my feelings unless you get parted with someone who loved you more than everything in his life. And suddenly he says you to get parted without any reason. You are getting punished for the mistakes you have never committed." I knew, her boyfriend broke up with her just last Friday and she does not even have sufficient reasons to get over it. Relationships are quite complicated, sometimes you need a reason to love a person, later you start finding reasons to forget them. Sometimes you have no idea how to start, later you start looking for it's ending. Similar series of events had happened in Natasha's life. I had no idea how to even console her. I just wanted to make her feel comfortable which seemed  quite tough then. 

She again started  saying ,"Can you believe Promisha, he broke up with me because I wouldn't make a good daughter-in-law for his mom and dad, his dad keeps advising." I had no idea about these things but only thing I wanted to make her understand was "Yeah! They are right. According to our Nepalese society, you can never be a good daughter-in-law if you come from some other caste or you believe in some other religion. Most of the relationships end up due to some of these stupid reasons. Not only your relationship, the whole country better to say whole world believes these sort of things and the reason behind every war is the systems which really has no meaning, so not only you the whole world is punished for this nonsense reason or some sort of crime they never committed."  I again tried to make her smile but she was almost in tears. 

I was confused. I decided to sing with the rhythm of her heart. I asked ,"Would you like to hear a story? It's about my beloved, who never told me he was leaving." She nodded. While counseling my clients at Mahottari, I learnt that the counselor alone cannot make a depressed soul feel better, let them read sad stories and hear sad songs that is only the panacea for instance. Later they can be remedied with positive thoughts. 

I started.

No relationships are ever over until two souls are completely detached. May be your partner is not visible to you, maybe you are not able to touch him, maybe you are not able to hear his voice through your ear but when it comes to your soul, you start feeling their existence, believing they are, not for everyone but just for you. Their absence is more than others presence in your life. When you are alone, you start living with them in your virtual world.

I don't get any idea, how I am supposed to judge myself, am I the unlucky one  because we parted so early or the lucky one because we shared some part of our life together. We shared our feelings, our dreams, our interests and moreover some time with each other. We cared and loved each other. And this is what a perfect relationship needs.

I don't know, how my pen feels but I always feel the same energy in my body when I start writing about him. My mind is always ready with words to explain him. He was the one, whose hands were ready to welcome me in this new world. When doctor kept me in his hands, he smiled and named me as Pooja, which means worship. He used to say me that I am his princess or some angel to him, I am his worship.  He really meant that. 

His words are still alive in my mind. As I was the first child in my family, I was grown up with lots of love. Later due to his job, dad left home and visited us twice or thrice a year. While he came, he brought a lot of gifts for me. But the best gift for me was his lap where I could sleep safely, with no worries. Once my grandma organized a Ramarcha Pooja at home. Dad brought a beautiful white colored fairylike dress for me. I was happy wearing that. I was feeling like a Fairy. The day was good. Everyone was busy managing for the event. I too was waiting for the prasad to eat. Actually I was not interested in pooja… I was interested in fruits so called prasad, which was kept in front of Krishna's idol. I couldn't control so I insisted dad to bring some for me, from there. He tried to make me understand but I told him if you really love me then get some for me, otherwise I won't believe from now that you truly love me. He went there without taking any time and brought some for me. I was happy and started eating. Mom came near us, and she started to scold. I was enjoying the fruits so mom's word didn't matter to me. When mom's word were over, dad told her, "May be that idol has some meaning to you, you regularly worship it, but I worship the one whom you conceived and gave me as a baby girl after nine months, so I stole some fruits from your god to my worship, I am sorry for that." I could not get those words then but I understand it now. I made him prove how much he loved me. 

One day some kind of letter addressed to him was delivered at our home. The letter was from his office and he was supposed to be there tomorrow. Mom packed his bags as to reach tomorrow he must leave today, and it was the day of Shivaratri. I don't know why but I was feeling bad, because we had planned to visit Jaleswornath Temple, which needs to be canceled. I asked to dad, please be here now, you can go tomorrow. But he made me understand this time ,"All the things in this world are not supposed to be as you plan it, sometimes you need to accept how the life comes to you. " I nodded. He asked me, "can my pooja handle her mom and brothers when I am not here. Is she a brave girl?" I still don't get it that either it was he or the time was asking to me, and making me understand something which was going to happen in near future. I promised him to be a brave girl and a good daughter to him and mom as well. He wished me a goodbye waving his hands. I did the same.

I took my examinations and passed it. Now I was going to be a student of 4th grade. I was waiting for dad with my good report card. He will be here in a week grandpa informed us. All of us were waiting for him. Next day we received two postcards from postman. It was dad who sent it for us. One was for My brother Adarsh wishing him his belated birthday, and the next was for all of us wishing "Happy new year-2057", I still have it in my diary. 

Finally the day came. We were prepared for his arrival. Mom was cooking some special dishes for him. Grandma was making some designs on a handkerchief with some colorful threads. One of our neighboring uncle came and he asked that where is grandpa. Grandma answered him he is outside. Mom asked him for tea but he refused, he was sad and hurried at the same time. He again asked for grandpa but grandma answered him again the same. He looked outside and then his eyes caught grandpa. He hurried to approach him. He started to say something to grandpa, but his tears were faster than words. He couldn't say it. He burst into tears. After a minute mom and grandma were too there. Finally, he put it into words "Your son is no more." Again he burst into tears. My mom could not handle herself, it was quite difficult to her to believe that for whom she is cooking is not coming back ever. She fainted. Grandma and grandpa too burst into tears. Our neighbors came to console my family but it was tough then too. They entered kitchen and turned off the gas. I even could not get then what was going on and why this all sort of sudden drama have started now. I got it only on the next day when I saw him lying on a bed decorated beautifully with flowers. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to be with him there in his lap. But none allowed me. One of my uncle stopped me when I touched my father to wake him up. He caught me in his lap. I wanted to be out of his lap and to be in my hero's lap where I belong. I wanted to make my uncle know that I was not comfortable there. I was trying to talk to my hero, and make him happy with my 3rd grade report cards.

My neighbor came and broke the bangles of my mother. Since then she has never worn any bangles. My mom and grandma kept crying for days. Relatives visited us to console. Everyone came but my hero never came. My eyes and my report card kept waiting for him. For years I awaited for him. After years I understood that he is dead and the people who are dead never come back. I didn't have any idea, but I remember I had promised him to be a good daughter to Mom as well as a brave girl. I knew his dreams so I started living with them.

Although he is not alive for world but when I close my eyes I still feel his love. I was a part of the relationship so I still keep writing about him and our love. Our relationship gets a meaning when we are able to keep it alive either the partner is present or absent. Our partner's  presence or absence accumulates some energy in us and it's totally up to us on how we utilize it, I chose this way now it's your turn dear.

And finally she smiled. I saw the accumulating hopes in her eyes.